Before reading this, I would suggest taking a peak at any of
the stories on here by the authors. Atleast skim =). This was
written purely to torture Scott and me on our respective
b-days :P It has no effect on Fall From Grace or any of
Scott "Cyclops" Summerton's writings.
If you wish to get *full* enjoyment out of this fic, you'll need a
wide knowledge of 'Utena' (both the anime
and fanfics ),
a dabble of the anime 'Brother, Dear Brother', and the Sailor Moon
fanfic 'A Big Fat Lemonade' (which can be found at
http://www.uvm.edu/~vlaporte/lemonade.txt).
Ahem. I don't expect everyone to do this, but it WOULD help =)
Also we had help from an IRC friend who goes by the handle DarkSong
(or just DS) who helped out with a few things, most specifically...
hmm, how to mention it and not spoil it... the trademark Utena-type
scene that only people who've seen Utena will understand what I mean
here. (blink) You all confused yet? Good, that means I'm not the
only one...
The absolute destiny, ecchi apocalypse!
As always, Sailor Moon ain't mine.
********************************************************
"Wait! Angie!" She turned around and gave him an
impatient look. "Where do I go? What do I do? You can't leave
me out here."
She sighed and pointed in the opposite direction.
"There's a building over there that you sleep in. I'll meet
up with you early tomorrow. Chu-Chu will show you the way."
And with that very unhelpful direction giving, she took
off.
"Chu-Chu? Who the hell is Chu-Chu?!" He called to her
retreating form. No answer. "Great, not only am I stuck here
alone in Utena AS Utena, but she has the garnet still so I
can't just leave. Not like she'd let me though now that she's
Juri, whoever that is..." He sighed, pushing his hair back over
what was supposed to pass as his shoulder. In doing so he noted
a strange weight on it. Glancing down he saw a little ratmonkey
thing that was just too cute for words.
"ChuChu!" It proclaimed happily, a big grin on its face.
"What the-- Get it off! Get it off!" He screeched,
running in the direction of 'his' room, the little pet holding
on for dear life.
Two forest-green orbs watched him take off. Pink light
sparkled off her earlobes as a dark chuckle escaped her lips.
"Just you wait Scott. Just you wait..."
===============================================================
"When Plutos Attack!"
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton and Emporess
(thrawn27@hotmail.com and Angst88@aol.com)
Chapter Four - "Overture: Thunder and Lightning!"
===============================================================
Things were not going well at Ohtori Academy for
Scott-chan.
Utena's room hadn't been too hard to find, once he got
used to following a rat around. It had been empty, much to
his relief. He found a note telling him his roomate was staying
at her brother's for the evening, and would be back the next day.
That was one less headache to deal with.
For the first time since the beginings of his travels,
he was able to relax. The rooms were very nice, the only thing
throwing him off was the obsessive neatness. Thanks to that it
was was easy enough to find things though.
"Stupid Angie keeping the stupid garnet leaving me stuck
as stupid Utena in this stupid anime..." he mumbled to know one
in particular. "Probably have to wear a stupid nightgown to bed
too..."
Much to his relief he came across Utena's pajamas, a
rather plain set that only seemed feminine thanks to his body's
curves. He soon found the curry his roomate had thoughtfully
provided and promptly reheated it. It would have been a nice
change from the constant popping in and out of other people's
beds... if not for the ratmonkey.
No matter where he went in the suite, or what he was doing,
always the little creature followed him, munching on something.
When it wasn't stuffing its face, it would call out "Chu-chu!"
in the most annoyingly sweet voice he'd ever heard.
He tried to ignore it at first. Turning on the TV, he'd
been happy to learn he could understand what it was saying as
if they'd been speaking english. The only channel that came in
well was a home shopping network, but that didn't seem to matter.
Blissfilly he watched the lady try to sell everything from
dishwashers to some fancy jewelry by 'Dior'. Still, that annoying
voice had cut in. "Chu-chu!"
When he switched off the TV, he went to the bookshelf
and browsed the titles. Again he learned he could understand
the complicated Kanji. Not much of a selection. Finally he
settled on 'How to Manipulate Your Superiors Using Your Wiles',
only a little distracted by the highlighter that had been used
on the book. Just as he was forming a game plan to use against
Angie the annoying sounds rang in his ears. "Chu-chu! *munch
munch* Chu-chu!"
After glaring at it caused no reaction, he descided
it was time for sleep. He closed the door and locked it, then
flopped into the bed closet to the door. Pulling the blanket
over his Utena form, he looked forward to a night of peace
and quiet regardless of being a young woman at the time.
On the edges of sleep he drifted, already imagining
the Lita from his fanfiction placing her inviting arms around
him when he was sent spasming off the bed by the cute little
voice. "Chu-chu! Chu-chu!"
From his position on the ground he could see the evil
little beady eyes of the rodent staring at him. They seemed to
glow with malevolence. "Chu-chu! Chu-chu!"
"Shut up." he hissed at it. Reaching under the bed
he pulled out a shoe, tossing it at the creature. He heard
a satisfying THUNK, and happily he returned to the bed.
Rolling on to his side, he started to close his eyes. Until
he noticed the red glow reflecting in the dark. "Chu-chu!
Chu-chu!"
"Damnit!" Snatching the ratmonkey by its one hooped
earring, he lifted it off the floor, running to the window and
tossing it outside. Even though he slammed it shut fast, he
heard the creature's cries as it fell.
With a sigh he lay back down, instantly falling into
dreams. Very *odd* dreams...
Scott-chan had one feminine hand poised to knock on the
door he had been told was Juri's. The rodent was happily cooing
on his shoulder, much to his displeasure. The fall the night
before obviously hadn't been far enough. Since then he had
tried to give it a bath (with a toaster oven still plugged in),
lock it in the freezer (where it just ate all the frozen food
while iceskating), and trying a bit of 'cross-animation-logic',
he threw an anvil on top of it. The anvil had ruined the floor,
yet somehow left the demon unscathed. He was going to have to
ask Angie what short of a certain mascot-eating-pet could
dispose of it.
Before he touched his knuckles to the wood, the
door was flung open. Out stepped three rather dazed young
men who looked almost the same, if not for a slight
difference in hairstyles. Each of their identical green
uniforms were skewed, buttons missing, collars undone,
belts unbuckled. They walked right over Utena, knocking
her down. On the bright side Chu-chu was flung off her
shoulder and smacked satisfyingly against the wall.
"Suzuki-kun did you see..." One began.
"Hai Yamada-kun, and then when she took off
her..." the other answered.
"Tanaka is tired." Said the last one in the
voice of a 4 year old.
They stumbuled away, ignoring Scott/Utena, whose
pink eyebrow had formed a very nasty twitch the more he
listened to their conversation. Finally getting to his
feet he knocked on the door. As it opened he stepped back,
afraid of what might pop out.
To his relief it was only Angie via Juri's body.
She was wrapped in a white terry cloth robe, her orange
curls flowing down her back. The robe was belted loosely
at her waist, causing the V of the neckline to plunge.
She leaned seductivly against the side of the doorframe,
long Juri legs open to his appraisal.
Even though he had seen this before, he still
paused with an intake of breath. The affect was ruined
however when she saw who was at the door and frowned.
"Oh, it's you."
Taking advantage in her lack of intrest he shook
free of the spell. "Good to see you too." he murmured
sarcastically following her inside. Juri's suite was neat
though not as fanatically clean as Utena's own. The lights
were dimmed, candles scattered about. "Do I even *want*
to know what you were doing before I got here?"
A feral smile that looked entirely foreign to
Juri's face bloomed. "I doubt it, dub boy. Lets just say
I'm catching up on your conquests. How was your night?
Have fun with Chu-chu?"
Scott groaned, flopping down in the seat oppisite
his companion. "Of course I didn't have *fun*. Besides
having this," he gestured to the ugly little ratmonkey who
perched happily on Juri's coffee table, "to contend with,
AND going through the morning routines of a teenage female,
I also had the weirdest hentai dreams..."
Taking out a nail file and sharpening Juri's wicked
talons she grinned at him. "Those weren't dreams dub boy."
"But how--" he started to say before shaking his
head in condesetion. "Nevermind. I don't want to know. God
help her then." He glared at the little rodent before
punting it across the room with his foot.
"Not bad." She said watching it sail into the
garbage can. Walking over to the can she flicked the switch
for 'trash compacter' and smiled as she heard the squishing
and frantic "Chu-chus" that emerged. "Now *that's* how you
take care of a kawaii mascot."
"Oh, really?" he said nonplussed, pointing to her
right where Chu-chu had located a pile of crackers and sat
munching them.
"Damn." Flipping her hair she looked at 'Utena'.
"Anyway, it was nice talking to you Scott-chan, but I have
a full schedule today so if you don't mind--"
"What?!" His Utena voice was etched in shock. "Hold
it, aren't we gonna discuss this duel thing? I've never
even *held* a sword before!"
"It's nothing," she said, snapping her fingers
to emphasize the point. "No matter HOW bad you are, you
can't mess up. Trust me. This is Utena's show. You are
destined to win. All you have to do is pull a sword outta
the Rose Bride, wave it around at me, and boom! We're outta
here!"
"Why can't we just leave now?" He asked, angrily
combing back his long pink hair. "I dunno how much of this
world, let alone this body, I can take. Atleast I *knew*
something about the Scouts."
"Senshi." She corrected absently. "The garnet is
busted from all the travel we did last nite." A hungry look
came to her face. "Besides, I'm not done here yet."
Getting wearily to his feet he let her shoo him
out the door. "Oh well, at least it'll be relaxing for a
while. Boy, that Anthy sure can cook! She's a sweet person
too."
Angie/Juri paused in her pushing. One eyebrow
raised slightly. "What do you mean by 'sweet'?"
"I dunno, she's really helpful. Like today she
had breakfast ready when I woke up, and then she helped
me with my clothes. Real thorough too. I had to stop
her from stepping in the shower with me beforehand
though. Must be a Japanese thing... Did you know Utena
has pink hair down..." He trailed off when he caught the
glint in Juri's eyes. "What?"
Grabbing ahold of Utena's shoulders she peered
down at the younger woman. "You didn't sleep with her
did you?"
"What are you talking about? Of course I didn't.
Of all people I wouldn't expect you to have a problem
with it."
She still didn't let him go. "Whatever you do,
whatever she says, do not, I repeat, *do not* sleep
with the Rose Bride. You understand?"
Scott still felt confused. "But why...?"
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Angie hissed, harnessing
the full power of Juri's glacial look behind her.
"Yes! YES!" He said, eager to escape. When
she released him he took off through the door, not
quite fast enough to avoid the little rodent that
latched on to his arm.
Angie/Juri leaned against the wall, a little
shudder going through her. "As long as we avoid
'Scream'..." She trailed off when she heard the knock
at the door. Opening it all thought of catastrophe
was replaced with more happy (or was it hentai?)
thoughts.
"Konnichiwa Juri-sempai." Called out 13 year old
Miki Kaoru. Next to him was his less-than-thrilled twin
sister Kozue. "We're here. What did you want to talk to
us about?"
Juri smiled in a very not Juri leer at the boy
as she led them both in. "Not much, Miki-chan. I just
wanted to see if all the rumors were true." As she
turned to face them she dropped the robe, kicking the
door shut behind her.
"S-sempai!" Miki's voice could be heard along
with Kozue's excited "I knew it!" before the final
click and turning of the lock.
A vast hallway with dozens of chairs sat before
an elevator. On each were little arrows pointing down to
the elevator. In a box posted on the wall were a set of
papers with a sign written in Kanji: 'If you are to be
interviewed, please fill out this form and wait.'
On the next to last chair was one of these forms,
on which was scrawled: Nemuro Memorial Hall Interview
Application Form. Please answer the following questions:
Name --- Kino Lita
Age --- 16
The elevator Lita was seated in seemed surreal.
The panels on the walls moved up and down, as well as
the pictures that were attached to them. It was a
cramped area, with no room to stretch out. She sat
pensively on the chair provided for her as the elevator
began its descent.
"I've tried to make the best of things," began
Lita in a nervous voice. "Even though I was too tall,
even though I got teased alot, I tried to cope. When
life gave me lemons, I made lemonade. Just when things
were at their worst I met Serena and the rest of the
Scouts. We had our ups and downs, but we all got through
it." Her voice became colder. "Until he started writing
about me..."
Mikage's voice urged her on. "Deeper. Go
deeper." It had an almost hypnotic quality to it. She
couldn't resist.
"At first Scott was so kind to me. I thought
he was kind to me because he fixed a wrong in my life."
She paused seeming to mule this over. "But he really
had pity on me for being an easy target." Her voice
took on an angry rumble. "That's pathetic!"
Lita felt the momentum in the elevator pick
up speed, as her feelings tumbled forth from her lips.
"Now I'm on equal terms with him, her, whatever he is
now. No, I've won!"
Ever faster the elevator dove, as Lita
wrestled with her conscious. "What shall I do? I'm so
delighted to know my author's secret I almost can't
bear it!" She put her hands to her head and rubbed
her temples. "He made me suffer alone, looking at
my jpeg in secret..." Almost compassionate tones
entered her voice. "That was Scott? Poor thing!"
Finally she looked up, her hands clenching
into fists. "No good! It's still no good! How could
you look at me like that?!" The elevator lurched to
a stop, the force so great Lita tumbled out of the
chair and landed on the ground. "Why did it all turn
out this way?"
The door to the elevator opened, a square
of light shining down on her kneeled form. In the
frame was a shadowed silohette. "I understand,"
came Mikage's eeiry whisper. "I suppose you have
no choice but to revolutionize your fanfic author."
Lita's eyes moved to take him in, green sparkles
in a sea of darkness. "The way before you has
been prepared."
She raised a hand to him, and walked into
the light.
Scott as Utena walked down the hallways
of Ohtori Academy apprehensivly. Knowing very little
about this series, he was on edge. The damn mascot
alone was bad enough, let alone running around
without a clue as to where he should go or what
he should do.
Lots of students greeted him, and he had no
choice but to try and reply. Despite being able to
read and understand Japanese, he still couldn't
pronounce any of it correctly. He was still dubboy,
only with those few fringe benefits.
At the gym a group of guys tried to get him
to join in on their basketball game. Luckily they
accepted his stammered excuses of needing to get to
class. It might have been true. This blind running
around thing was getting ridiculous.
Sighing, he trudged on till he heard voices
coming from an open doorway. He peaked in, intending
to ask directions when the site of the room's
occupants made him pause.
A man with long thick green hair tied in a
ponytail and robes was practicing with a sword. The
man thrusted at the wooden dummy in front of him,
chopping at arms and legs at random. Sometimes he
would concentrate on the center of the
human-shaped-form, shaving wood chips off its chest.
The only part of the dummy that remained untouched
was the face, which had a rather handsome red-haired
man's picture tacked to it.
"Make a fool out of me, will you Touga?"
He slashed diagonally across the 'man's' right
leg. The man's voice was filled with disgust.
"'Don't look at me so grimly' you said." Another
rip across the chest. "'Heartless' you called
me. 'Aren't you my one and only friend?'" His
voice rose to a hysterical pitch as he brought
forth the sword in a full arch, stopping bare
inches from Touga's picture. Breathing heavy, the
man lowered the sword, and stared into the
picture's dead eyes. "I'll not be defeated by
the likes of you!"
"You fight a losing battle, Saionji."
A deep, almost sexless voice cut through the man's
concentration. Scott shifted his eyes to the
other figure. It had curling pale blonde hair.
Dressed in a formal men's outfit it held a
cigarette in one hand, smoke drifting gently to
the ceiling. In the other the figure played with a
throwing knife, twisting it rapidly between fingers.
As he looked on, the person let it fly, watching it
sail across the room to embed itself in the wall.
Several holes were already punched in what appeared
to be the chalk outline of a woman. The holes
were centered on what would have been her heart.
"It's not the same!" He hissed at her,
angirly picking up the sword and sheathing it. "She
was your lover. He's my rival!"
Malicious laughter met his protests. The
person sounded almost drugged, the voice somewhat
slurred. "Saionji," it began. "denial will only
take you so far." Anouther knife began to twirl
idlly in its hand.
"Rei, my friend," he said, stalking over to
her. He glared down at the slumped form, staring at
the dangling cigerette and the empty tablets of pills
she'd consumed. "Or should I call you
Saint-Juste-sama?" He paused for a responce but
recieved none. "Do not compare your situation to
mine." His tone was cruel. "You are already defeated,
whereas I have not begun to fight."
A flick of her wrist sent the knife flying,
not at the wall but towards Saionji. He dove to the
floor. When he picked his head up he saw the knife
had imbedded itself directly in the middle of Touga's
picture. When he turned back to her, Rei was
mechanically unwrapping a pill and swallowing it dry.
"Do not presume so much." She stated.
"Too weird," Scott thought, choosing this
moment to get the hell out of there. Whatever was
going on with those two, was something he didn't
want to get involved in. Scott-chan had his own
problems to deal with.
Angie was having the time of her life.
After her 'chat' with the twins, she'd sent
them on their way. She was pleased with Miki, and of
course his sister Kozue had been as good as she expected.
Fifteen minutes after their departure her new 'playmates'
had arrived.
The three girls sat in various levels of undress on
Juri's bed. Yuuko Oose's reddish hair was plastered to her
forhead as her friend Wakiya Aiko's hands roved underneath
her skirt. Angie's attentions were focused on Keiko Sonada,
the most reluctant of Nanami's three henchwomen. She cupped
the brown-eyed girl's face in her hands as she leaned forward
to steal a kiss. "Touga-sama," the girl murmured involentarily,
as she opened her mouth for Angie's seductions.
Which were interupted by a loud knocking at the door.
"Damn," Angie exclaimed as she broke off the kiss. She
looked into Keiko's dazed eyes as she got off the bed. "Don't
go anywhere." Sauntering over to the door she threw it open.
"This had better be really important!"
Lita stood in the center of the doorway, dressed in a
variation of a duelist's pink and green uniform. She didn't even
blink at Juri's naked form. "I'm going to battle for the Rose
Bride."
Angie paused, taking in the 'Scout's' glazed eyes. She
noticed the black rose ring she wore. "Ne, aren't you a few
episodes early? We're still in the beginning of the series
here." There was no responce from the semi-consious Lita. She
sighed. "Besides the only one who can take the sword is a
person who has strong feelings about the dueler, and I'm *not*
the one your pissed at. So if you don't mind-" She started
to close the door.
A white-gloved hand put a stop to that, flinging it
open again. Magenta eyes twinkled as a look of pure evil
fastened on Angie/Juri. "I am SOOOO going to enjoy this," Sailor
Pluto smiled. She held her Time Staff up, and the orb began to
glow.
"Oh fuc-" Was all that Angie was able to say before the
pink glow of the orb spread to her chest. She bent backwards
at the waist as the handle of a sword erupted from the upper
half of her body. Lita took hold of it and pulled it completely
out of Juri's body.
A wave of dizzyness struck Angie, and she almost fell
to the ground. In the anime, when Juri's sword was taken, she
collapsed. Because Angie's own (fighting spirit?) wasn't what
the Pluto took, she was able to stay conscious. Sky blue met
red as their gazes locked.
"Bitch!" Angie hissed and slammed the door in the
Pluto's face.
"N-nani?" Pluto stuttered as she was dragged away by
Lita.
"We must talk to the one engaged," Lita told her
woodenly.
"But she's not-- I mean she was supposed to-- Damnit!"
screeched the frustrated Pluto. "One of these days Angie,
I'm going to get you! I swear I will!"
Angie grinned as she listened to the Pluto's
fading rants. "Don't hold your breath Seta! I KNOW it's YOU!"
She turned away from the door, heading back over to the bed,
excitement taking hold again. "Sorry about that ladies--" She
stopped as her mouth gaped open in shock.
All three of her bedroom companions were passed out.
Not one twitch, not one fluttering eyelash. Each one was spent
with totally blissed out looks on their faces. And the reason
for this was perched casually in the middle of them, hands
folded behind his head. "Hello Angie-san! Miss me?"
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
Scott had had enough. He couldn't take it anymore. Not
for even another second. "The ratmonkey must die!!!"
After deciding the building was too dangerous a place
for him to be, he'd gone outside to patrol the grounds of
the school. But the one-earringed rodent continued to torment
him. Nothing made it leave, no rebuff, kick, slam, or smack
was enough to make the message clear. "Can't anybody kill
this damn thing?!"
Now Scott-chan had sent alot of wishes to the Gods.
He'd wished for a decent internet connection. He'd wished for
his college acceptance letter. He'd wished for a gratuitous
scene with Makoto (while he was in his own male form of course).
All these prayers but to no avail. However obviously someone up
there beyond the sky agreed with him on this point. The
ratmonkey must die. So it sent its messanger to do the deed.
A familiar blonde-haired head stuffed in a helmet peaked
out over a grassy hill. The lithe figure was dressed in full
camouflage attire. "Charlie's all around me. But they don't
see me. I'm invisible. They can't hurt me. Charlie. Charlie.
I'll kill the bastards." The once sane Sailor Uranus murmured
as she belly crawled across the ground.
Whoever it was that DID answer Scott's prayer, it had a
really twisted sense of humor.
The Haruka seemed to notice the eyebrow twitching
Scott/Utena then. Flashbacks of muddy swamps and her first
victory over Setsuna-Charlie with that machete were fresh in
her mind. She jumped up, catlike reflexes ready to tear down
the enemy. "GET DOWN! ALL OF YOU! OR I'LL BLOW YOUR HEADS OFF,
COMMUNIST BASTARDS! WHERE'S THE VIET-KONG?"
Scott-chan dropped to the ground, barely missing the
rat-tat-tat of machine gun fire the crazed Uranus shot at him.
Hands over his ears he closed his eyes and prayed to God that
whatever fanfic author had created this catastrophe they were
slowly burning in hell for it.
The crazed eyes searched the lawn for anouther target
as Scott-chan moved out of sight. Searching left to right her
attention locked on a tiny moving target. When she spyed it
she crawled towards it. "It's Charlie. Must destroy Charlie.
Vanquish the enemy."
"Chu-chu?" questioned the innocent yet annoying rodent.
Reaching into her dimensional pocket, the Senshi of
the heavens pulled out her talisman. "Prepare to waltz with
the damned, Commie bastards." With a savage battle cry she
brought the Space Sword high above her head and slammed it
down, chopping the kawaii mascot in half. Rays of golden
light shot out as it finally faded from view, without even
time for a last "Chu".
This did not slow down Haruka in the least. Falling back
into a low crouch she began her search anew. She gave another
glance at Scott-chan, but seemed to view him as harmless.
"Idiots. Rice paddy-wading simpletons. They're all secretly
working for Charlie, though. I'll have to kill them all for
the sake of the mission. Charlie's got eyes everywhere.
Watching me. All around. Piercing. My brain. Monitoring my
brain. Must take out Charlie. Charlie Charlie." Her head
ticked to her left shoulder a couple of times and her eyebrow
began twitching uncontrollably as she faded from sight.
"That--" Scott began, as he blinked, "was probably the
most fucked up thing I have ever seen." He gave another blink
and headed back to the building. He doubted ANYTHING could
top that.
As he entered the building he felt something slam into
his back. His thin Utena legs nearly buckled under the weight.
"Utena-sama!" squealed the delighted voice of Wakaba Shinohara
as she piggybacked on Scott-chan.
"Kya! Angie-chan, this is no time to play horsey! I
can't take those spurs in my--" He glanced back at the brunette.
"Oops. Your not Angie."
"Angie?!" asked Wakaba, her voice rising with
suspicion. "Whose Angie?! You're my Prince, Utena-sama!!!!"
Wakaba's wails were deafening due to her close proximity to
his ears. Scott-chan finally broke free of her and made a mad
dash down the hallway, not noticing the students who were
fleeing in the opposite direction until they ran over him.
"Run-away horse!" They called.
"Horse?!" Scott murmured, trying to wipe a footprint
off his face. He sat up just in time to see the horse that was
trotting full gallop. A blonde girl stood paralized in fright
before the animal. Just before it would have knocked her down
a small form pushed her out of the way, leaving the path wide
open to Scott-chan.
"This is going to hurt, isn't it?" He mused.
A few horse-hoove prints later he managed to turn
his head to the blonde girl in the immaculate uniform who
was fawning over her savior. Nanami Kiryuu's eyes were
tearing as she stared up at the 11 year old boy. "You
saved me. How can I ever repay you?"
The 11 year old smiled back at her. "It was nothing."
She shook her head. "No, it was wonderful." She
took his hand. "Mitsuru Tsuwabuki, will you go out with me?"
The young boy seemed delighted. "Hai!"
Nanami smiled, grabbing all her books and throwing
them at him, along with her purse and other belongings.
Mitsuru was so laden down with stuff the upper half of his
body couldn't even be seen. "Let's be off then. I don't want
to be late."
Scott-chan watched them leave while he peeled himself
off of the floor. "Ok, I take it back. That *might* be the
weirdest thing I've ever seen." As if to contradict him he
heard scattered machine gun fire from far away. Shuddering,
he caught site of a bulletin board, and a curious note
that stood out among the other school papers.
'To the one engaged: I shall wait for you at the
Duel Arena this evening. -Lita'
Scott-chan's heart lept up into his throat. "LITA?!"
was all he managed to squeal before he was frozen in place. The
lights dimmed behind him. A screen seemed to suddenly appear
and the darkened form of a girl appeared.
"Extra! Extra! Extra!" called out C-ko, the shadow
play girl. "I'm done for! They all found out my secrets!" She
made a motion of crying into her hands. Then she turned
around as if she was another person talking to the other as she
made comforting gestures. "There's nothing to worry about. No
one thinks of it as embarrassing."
She turned back around resuming the voice of the
mortified girl. "Is that so?"
Again she turned into the wise friend. "Sure it is!
Everyone wears things like woolen panties."
But it seems the embarassed girl was not mollified by
this explanation. "But who would wear three pairs of them?" C-ko
launched into yet another rant. "So I am done for then. Even
though I'm considered a fashionable, nice dresser, I'm wearing
woolen panties! And three pairs, even!" She let out a little
moan. "I'll never get married this way. What should I do?!"
Scott as Utena seemed to break his paralysis then,
ducking 'his' head behind the screen to look at her. "Take
'em off?" he asked sensibly.
C-ko screeched. "HENTAI!" Before belting him across the
face with the feminine garments in question. She then sauntered
away, lighting a cigarette and mumuring about her contract.
Scott stood awkwardly underneath the floating castle in
the sky. His ears were still ringing from the theme music that
had bellowed out at him during the dramatic opening sequence. His
school uniform was now changed, but for every aspect that had
become more dignified it had also become more feminine. Shoulder
tassels and a ruffled skirt complimented a few medals that were
added to his ample chest with the white rose that had been pinned
there. To his further dismay he noted Angie was nowhere in sight.
"This is the end of your tyranny over me Scott Summerton,"
called out Lita in a monotone as the Rose Bride pinned a pink
rose on the lapel of her dueling outfit. She made a few impressive
practice swings with her sword.
"I am so dead." Scott whispered meekly as Utena. He
glanced over at the sulking Sailor Pluto. Scott determined that
she was the Pluto from Angie's fanfiction, since she kept shouting
"I'll make YOU fall from grace Angie!" as she glared in the
direction of another building whilst waving both her fists and her
timestaff all at once.
Before he could even think of asking what she was doing,
his attention focused on Anthy. The Rose Bride stood before him,
making hand gestures towards her chest. "O rose of the noble
castle," Light began to glow in a orb in the center of her chest.
"O Power of Dios that slumbers within me," she bent backwards,
a surprised Scott barely having enough time to catch her in
'his' arms. "Harken unto thy master and reveal to us..."
"...the power to revolutionize the world!" Scott heard
'himself' finish involuntarily, as his waist-long pink Utena
hair flared up from magical winds. His hands gripped the handle
of the Sword of Dios that sprouted from Anthy's chest. Pulling
it from her body he raised it high above his head, repressing
the urge to shout "For the honor of Greyskull!" in She-Ra
fashion. He much preferred the He-Man cartoon anyway but since
he was currently female, She-Ra seemed more fitting. Tingles
shot up and down his arm as the magical winds died down.
Anthy moved off to the side and he turned to face his
opponent. The strange music began again, a throbbing beat
as out of nowhere, ghostly voices began to sing along.
"~Nature's light~ ~Mosaic light~ ~Child of daybreak;~ ~the
angel Lucifer~"
Their swords clashed, emitting sparks when meeting.
Scott-chan didn't do so bad considering he had no idea what
was going on and the music was giving him a massive migraine.
It was obvious however that Lita had the upper hand in this
battle. He could barely counter her viscous swipes.
~Apocalyptic light~ ~Michael's light~ ~Child of
darkness;~ ~androgynous~ As the soundtrack swirled Lita sent
a blow that knocked his sword away. He landed on her
outstretched arm. ~Fire's light~ ~Heavenly light~ With a cruel
look on her face she sent him sprawling to the ground.
"Oh look, the poor dear is exhausted already. In fact,
I'd say you're spent." She sneered, letting him get to his feet
and retrieve his sword. His chest heaved as he breathed heavily.
"Pathetic! In all of those stories you wrote, your stamina was
so much better, too. Come on, you can't just leave me waiting
like this, Lover. We've barely just begun.."
"I don't suppose we could just decide this peacefully?"
He asked hopefully, just barely able to leap back as she came
at him again. "Guess not!"
~In the cerebral universe~ ~Shape of floating life~
~Glory, ephemery, hope for a good fanfic!~ He parried a blow,
darting away from her when she thought she had him.
" Well, at least you do recover quickly enough" Lita
called out, laughing cruelly. "Perhaps this might satisfy me
after all. But you'll definitely have to try...harder."
~Incomplete returning to the primitive beginnings.~
Images of the things she'd had to endure because of the
fanfic author floated through her head, fueling the burning
feelings that drove her, to redress the injustices done to her
again and again. ~Male/female,positive/negative~ ~Up/down,
left/right~ Pushing closer, she sent him spiraling backwards on
the defensive, frantically backpedaling to stay on his feet.
~The center is hollow hollow hollow hollow...~
With a shriek of triumph, she knocked the sword from
his hands again, sending him sprawling gracelessly to the ground.
"This body suits you well, Scott my dear. It's obvious you were
never man enough for me." She took another step forward,
regarding him down the length of the cold steel blade. As cold
as the look in her eyes, he thought. "How does it feel to be
defeated by the object of your desire, hmm? One last thrust, and
I'll be FREE! Say goodbye, my dear..." Scott closed his eyes,
accepting the inevitable death in a foreign body.
Before she could complete her lunge, a distant shout
yelling "CATCH!" followed by an as distant scream pierced the
air. A shadow fell over Lita. She glanced up she just in time
to meet the body that landed ungracefully atop her, knocking her
down and shredding the pink rose on her chest. "Impossible!" she
hissed, screeching in pain as the black rose ring on her finger
dissolved along with the sword she had acquired.
Angie in Juri was oblivious to this, standing indignantly
and waving her fist at a building in the distance. "Damn you I'm
not a football either!" She looked at Scott's kneeling Utena form
and glared. "Where were you when I needed you a second ago?"
"Me?! Where the hell were you?!" He growled getting to
his feet. Lita simply shook her head dazedly, saying softly "I was
almost free of him, too. This close, and now back to..."as Seta
came over and helped her stand.
"We'll be back Angie and Scott!" The Pluto held up the
time staff and they both disappeared in a flash of pink light.
"I'm shaking in my boots!" Angie called to their
fading forms while sticking her tongue out. "BIIIII!"
Reaching into her dimensional pocket she pulled out the
garnet. "Come on Scott-chan, this place is WAY to crowded now."
"What?" Scott managed to ask before the glow took
him again. He crossed him arms under his Utena breasts. "Not
that I'm complaining, but where the hell are we going now?!"
"Wherever's far away from here!" She stated. A little
smile tugged at the corners of her Juri lips. "I'll admit it
wasn't so bad though. At least it wasn't the dub version of
Utena. The only dub series worse in all of anime is--"
And with that thought they were gone.
Angie suddenly realized that she was on the phone.
She also realized she was wearing some rather thick
clothing, yet still felt rather cold.
Angie realized she was sick.
But who was she?
Before she could figure that out she heard someone
on the other end of the phone.
"She's on her way to your place, this is just a
warning... Be careful Raye"
"Rei?" Angie did a happy dance. "I'm Rei!"
"Raye, are you sure you're alright?"
"Of COURSE I'm alright I can be with Usag--" She
paused and narrowed her eyes. "Lita?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah? *ACHOO!* What is it Raye?"
She should have been glad it wasn't the Lita from
Scott's fanfiction and instead was a 'local'. However,
something more important troubled her...
"Aw SHIMATTA I'm in the DUB!"
Lita sounded worried. "Raye? Are you sure you'll
be ok?"
"Yeah yeah Mak--Lita, I'll be fine, I--"
Suddenly a WAY too cheery "HIIIII!" nearly deafened
both Angie and Lita as Mina entered the Cherry Hill Temple.
"Hi Raye! I'm here to make you all better!"
Angie's eyes went swirly. "What are you doing...
*ACHOO!*" She paused. "Oh kami-sama... I'm in the NURSE
MINAKO dub episode?!"
Scott smiled a brilliant smile, for Mina's body was
currently inhabited by him. "Hi?"
TO BE CONTINUED...
================================================================
Scott: (fiddling with the red bow on the top of his head) Angie,
are you ok?
Angie: I'M IN THE DUB!
Scott: ^_^ GOOD! I know stuff in the dub episodes of Sailor Moon!
Angie: THE DUB.
Scott: However... (runs his hands through his LONG blonde hair)
I'm not sure if this is an improvement from last time or not.
(sighs) I can only wonder what you were doing during my duel
earlier...
Angie: The readers will see soon enough, but more there's
something MUCH more important to deal with...
Scott: What's that?
Angie: I'M IN THE SAILOR MOON DUB!
Scott: (wincing) I think it's best we end this here...
Izzy: Are you sure about that Scott-kun?
Scott: (freaking out!) What the--! IZZY? So that's why
Artemis didn't freak out when I started babbling before
getting to Raye's... you're in him!
Angie: (oh she's happy now!) Izzy-chan! I'm so happy you
found us!
Scott: I thought we agreed he WASN'T going to follow us
from that crossover lemonfic we did with His lordship Chaos!
(looks at the audience as the all simultaneously go "Wha?!")
Scott: So it's not finished or published yet... minor
details!
Angie: (petting the little white cat) Good Izzy-chan!
For following us you deserve a treat!
(Izzy smiled an Artemis smile as a horde of chibi-tentacles
suddenly sprouted from his underbelly!)
Scott: Um, where are you going to get a treat for your
little tentacle monster mascot that currently in
for-the-moment-my guardian cat?
(Angie smiled her dubbed Raye smile and grabbed the blonde
girl by the arms)
Angie: You'll do nicely Scott-chan!
Scott: (o_O)
(Angie then tossed Scott-in-Mina towards the eager tentacles!)
Scott: AHHHHHH!!!
Izzy: Come now 'Mina', it's best I know everything possible
about my charge don't you think...?
Scott: Bad tentacles... BAD TENTACLES!!!
*********************************************************
I'd like to thank Miss Kitty (mekissa@yahoo.com) for letting me
borrow her Haruka for such a delightful purpose. I'd also like
to thank the authors of the Utena fics I metioned (Especially
Richard Gallivan of 'Scream' even though I didn't ask his
permission. Hope he doesn't mind ^_^) and Lord Chaos for a nice
e-mail suggestion.
-Emporess
*********************************************************
Coming soon whether you like it or not...
Angie: (glares and bares her teeth, showing kawaii little
fangs) WHOSE UTENA-CHAN?!
Angie: (Whips out her hentai version of Saturn's fuku and twirls
the glaive, purple battle aura flaring around her) Ok fanboy, you
and me gonna have to throw down! Otaku Deathmatch! Coming soon to
a fanfic near you!
(cue the eyecatch)
Angie: (seductively leans against a pillar nearby, as she blows
a kiss to audience with the other hand) Ne, and if your good I might
just give you some more fanservice!
Angie: (Holds up a 'sukaafu') Utena-chan, I come anon!
(Juri faces off with Touga. The fact that Angie is in Juri and
DarkSong is in Touga makes things REAL complicated... especially
since Scott is still in Utena!)
Scott: o_O
(cue the eyecatch)
WHEN PLUTOS ATTACK! CHAP--
DarkSong: (interrupting) Wait a second! I'm not fighting over him!
Angie: Why don't we just fight over which of us is the OtaQueen?
DarkSong: You mean OtaKing don't you?
Scott: Um, don't I get a say in this?
Angie & DarkSong: NO!
WHEN PLUTOS ATTACK! CHAPTER 4 OUTTAKE...
DarkSong: Besides Scott-kun, you'd only qualify for OtaQueen as
it stands right now anyway!
...coming soon!
*********************************************************
Questions? Comments? Arrows?
(thrawn27@hotmail.com or Angst88@aol.com)